I don’t even know whether I am using that word in the right way. I know I said I would be mostly posting over here from now on, but there are news and these news, somehow, I prefer to give them here. I am not quite over being schizo quite yet 🙂
So, today was a little surreal, when Talking Mental Health Derbyshire called me to say they could offer me therapy, they were aware I’d been waiting a while.
Now, I don’t lead a busy life, I really really honest to god do not lead a busy life. I barely leave the house, and that’s only to pick up my husband very occasionally at the station or take my daughter to school. Even my dog now has his walks when I take my daughter so not even dog walking.
I have three commitments coming up in my diary: 1) go to hospital on Date 1 at 15:00 hrs in February and get a 24 hour ECG apparatus put on. 2) Go to hospital the next day at 12:30 to have it taken off. 3) on the 29th, take my son to the airport for his trip to New York. Guess what dates (and freaking times) the woman offered to me. I am NOT kidding. Down to the exact hour, she offered those three dates, and those three times. I was laughing on the phone and could hear she wasn’t. She apologised and said unfortunately I can’t go any further than this, we’ll have to give these slots to the next person in the list and the next therapist to be free will call you to arrange as soon as they get a slot.
Ok I said, and we were done.
Now, when you KNOW you have to stop spiralling bleak thoughts from even starting, you know this kind of thing is way, way too “typical” and blooming freaky to be true. So I laugh about it. Laughing about it kept me happy and then I offered my daughter to make cookies together. So we did. They came out nice.
I knew there was a risk the happy thought would fade and the bleakest darkest thought would come up. The thought that goes along these lines “I knew it. I have to be alone in this. Blah blah blah”. But before that could even start, my new therapist, P., called and said he realised I’d been waiting a while, and could I start this Friday. Yay! Fortnightly for now as he is on leave but after that, regularly, every week.
So wow yes, I finally haz a therapist. It’s a man not a woman as I originally thought would be best. However, women do cause me truckloads more anxiety than men, and I wasn’t impressed with the last lady I saw albeit briefly, so maybe, maybe this is for the best. With men I tend to feel a lot more relaxed, maybe too relaxed (that is the other problem) because then all my confidence shines though and they only see the shiny confident woman. So we’ll see.
Anyway. That’s it. I wanted to share the good news is all 🙂