I had someone come around on behalf of our landlady to evaluate the house.
We walked around and I noticed he wanted me to stick by him rather than let him get on with his thing.
I told him how in Italy all the wood and sturdiness of the house would add to its value (it turned out I was wrong, but whatever) and he said, nah, not in England. After a while he asked, so where are you from? I had come to dread that question because England has changed, it is no longer the happy open place it used to be, intolerance towards foreigners has grown to include Europeans (not that it was fair before, but before I could defend Non-Europeans, now I need English people to defend me!).
Here, however, everyone has been very nice about us being Italians so I said “We’re from Italy“. He asked me which part, as he had gotten married – by chance (?) – in the beautiful Lake Garda area.
We moved to another room, he looked around, then he said: “So, ever think of going back?”
A while ago this question would have been no problem and asked innocently. Recently, however, some English people (a lot, actually) think that us Europeans suck the benefits off them (we don’t qualify for them) and somehow manage to live here being fed for free, not buying any food, not paying any taxes, buying clothes only from Italy and not spending a penny that helps the economy in this place, so I have started to dread that question too (yes anxiety sucks), but being a truthful person I said “No. Italians have become a majority of people I don’t like, the politics have been crap for years, I have no interest in going back, and anyway I grew up in New Zealand so I guess the mentality here is closer to my own than the Italian one.”
So we spent a little bit where he told me about his sister living in New Zealand for two years.
Then he suddenly switched to the problem in this country is we let every dick and tom get in, we are so open and welcoming…. My horror as I realised he was going to tell me he was pissed off at the refugees coming through from the European borders. I say horror because you see, as I am emotionally faulty, I tend to automatically want to please whoever is speaking to me and I will automatically nod along with whatever trash is coming out of your mouth… even when I disagree with it. Unless it touches something deep in my core.
He did. I think what did it was when he said Yeah I mean we can’t even help those people who have served our country, our veterans, we should help our people first and I did that thing, that thing that pisses everybody off but I couldn’t hold back.
I interrupted him.
Oh yes, you are right. I mean there are indeed a few things where England is still so far behind other European countries. One for example is your class system, whereby if you are a chav kid you are a chav and nobody cares about you. I mean I always thought about England as being so much more progressive, but it seems this is only true if you are middle class. I mean
He tried to get a word in, but I didn’t let him.
in Italy this wouldn’t happen. A child is a child is a child and an abused child would have the whole society defending them and intervene like tigers, but here, as long as you live in the wrong postcode, you will be left alone, because you know “who cares, they’re chavs!”. That to me really goes to show that unfortunately England still has a looooong way to go and yes, you’re right, if you can’t look after your own, how can you hope to help the unfortunate from outside. Whereas of course, countries like Austria and Germany are so way ahead, evidently, they can get organised. But here, clearly, there is this class thing, and as long as that’s in place, there is no hope.
He was quiet for a second or two then he started to explain how “these people” know how to play the system, and have more children just so they can have a larger council house.
Many are truly like that, true, but then change the bloody system, work on it, you do not abandon children to hell just because some of their parents deliberately cheat the system.
By that reasoning, I should abandon and leave to their own devices the children of rich spoilt parents who neglect their children and leave them to be abused by nannies, or, worse, their parents, because I have NO respect for this people, and I have seen the environments rich kids grow up in and believe me, abuse and neglect are never far, quite the opposite: were I to generalise, having lived in very rich environments for long enough, I’d say the children of rich people are more likely to become psycho murderers simply through the amount of drugs, abuse and neglect they are subjected to. You don’t know about it so much because they are protected, it won’t even transpire into the news. And when it does transpire? Ah but you know what? Rich people help the economy! Is that it? Is that why these sort of people can get away with what amounts to murder of the soul, as my dear fellow blogger says?
But I was proud of myself: I hadn’t lost my patience. I had been able to say my piece without getting emotional and breaking into tears and without starting an argument. For the first time in a long time, I managed to not only say what my opinion is, right or wrong it doesn’t matter, you have a right to disagree with me, but hey! He COULD’VE disagreed with me, because I stated an opinion that was different from his. And, contrarily to when I can hold back no longer when in company of friends and wish to say my opinion rather have them assume I agree, I didn’t get emotional.
The reason why this is a big deal for me is that, as I have said before, when this process is over, and I know a little better who I am and what ails me and how/if I can control it, I’d like to actually do something useful.
My core belief? All the horrors of the world, asides from natural catastrophes and natural animal predating, derive from people being able to exclude their conscience, of people who don’t even have one, and being able to do things without care for other fellow human beings. If we could eradicate THAT, if we could create in everybody a conscience, and if, then, we could be KIND as a result, to all people including regular adults but for starters to children, because they are the ones who will be the next adults, gradually our society would change and shift HUGELY, and we would move to a different level of evolution. I am SURE of this, as of pretty much nothing else. I wrote about it confusedly a while back, too.
That is why when I am faced with someone who has no kindness, I look at them as they might look at a Neandertal: you poor, undeveloped, retrograde human being.
The people in the blog post I linked earlier: not the abusing father, the vile creature who must have had his own past traumas or what have you, the people who let him go. The people who said he would fare badly in prison. The people who said… I can’t even say it anymore, it makes me so angry, so sick inside. The people who let him go. Why are they still in office? Why are they even allowed to say such things and then allowed to work again in the defence of other human beings? I couldn’t care less if he doesn’t fare well in prison! Was his tiny daughter faring well while she was being abused by him?
The children are EVERYTHING. We can start by protecting them, by making them holy, and seeing them as precious, untouchable. I happen to believe human life in general is so, but I understand it is harder to apply this principle to adults, especially troublesome, “evil” ones. But the children, it doesn’t matter whose child they are, it doesn’t matter where they came from, they are invaluable, precious, and a hurt or dead child is a crime against nature of the most heinous kind. And when you don’t care about the children in the postcode after yours, or a country outside of yours, you’re a part of that too. Indifference kills.
I removed an image for fear it might be too disturbing for those of us who do not need to be shocked into realising how very human this tragedy is. If you want to understand the controversy here is the link to the original Guardian article. Please be aware that some of you may find the images very distressing.