it’s gone. I am now breathing well, have been breathing out majestically and “scrubbing” all the bad feelings off of me.
I also researched the stuff about diagnosis etc and it seems to me that I suffer from Generalised Anxiety with an severe Social Anxiety which if triggered causes a situation of Panic, which in turn sets off the depressive stage of what is a ..
Rapid cycling bipolar
A doctor may diagnose you with rapid cycling bipolar if you have four or more depressive, manic, mixed or hypomanic episodes in a 12 month period.
You can change from mania to depression on a monthly, weekly or even daily basis. This is called ultra rapid cycling bipolar.
So now that I have successfully diagnosed my own pretty self as an anxiety-triggered ultra rapid cycling bipolar (Aturcb), I can go back to dealing with it every day. I have gotten so much better in the last few weeks, I know the cycling is still there and it is all still there but moments like today that spark it off quite violently have become rarer, mainly because I have worked my whole life around avoiding those triggers, thought I didn’t understand them as well as I do now (I have to thank a few bloggers in here for that).
But twice in the past few days I had two moments of serious “sparking” or rather triggering that blew over in a matter of minutes. Or rather, looking at the watch and noticing how much time has actually flown by, hours. My head is still feeling fairly dizzy and my breathing is still so so but it’s going.
Instead of continuing the cycle by berating myself for having wasted those hours, I am positively telling myself well done for coming out of it and feeling positive again just before you go get Maggie. So there. All good. Nothing to see here. Move along, move along.