Freelance vs. societa’ – un encore

Io ci provo, eh.
Sono andata  a cercarmi un lavoro, qualsiasi. che concedesse riconoscimento sociale, la possibilità futura di un mutuo… Tutto questo aiutato dai colleghi molto simpa, dalla bambina che ama andare al doposcuola… dai ragazzi indipendenti. E’ quasi terapia: il contatto quotidiano con le persone, il rapporto con i pazienti (lavoro come receptionist e “greeter” da un’ottico). Ma si ma si e’ molto al di sotto delle mie capacita’, ma dopo tanti anni come freelance traduttrice e senza esperienza come impiegata qui in Gran Bretagna, e’ il meglio che sono riuscita a trovare. Ma un po’ perche’ la paga e’ cosi bassa che mi impedisce di fare altro che lavorare, un po’ perche’ un caro amico e collega mi propone la traduzione dei suoi lavori, un po’ perché ascolto roba come questa

nel mio giorno libero a casa, ci soffro. Ho cancellato un appuntamento dal dottore per oggi, so benissimo cosa causa il mio mal di core.
E come ogni anno, arriva il caldo (incredibile, ma vero) e ogni mese e’ una battaglia contro il mio impulso di dare le dimissioni. Alla domanda del mio datore di lavoro, “perche’?” non saprei rispondere altro,s e fossi sincera, che “perche’ ho uno stupido bisogno di essere libera”.

Elephant waves goodbye

In altre nius, il pub davanti a casa apre questo venerdì, e questo mi causa grande gioia (per quanto potrò’ permettermi giusto una birra alla settimana…)

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I do try.
I went out and got myself a job, any job. That would be recognised by this society, the future possibility of a mortgage… All this was helped by very nice colleagues, by my daughter who enjoys afterschool club, by independent older boys. It is almost therapy: the daily contact with people, the relationship with patients (I work as a receptionist and “greeter” at an opticians). Yes I know it is quite a bit below my potential, but after so many years as a freelance translator and no experience as employee here in the UK, that’s the best I could find. But whether because the pay is quite low and allows me to do nothing but work, a bit because a dear friend and colleague invites me to the translation of his works, a bit because I listen to stuff like this

on my day off, I suffer. I cancelled a doctor’s appointment, I know full well why my heart hurts.
And just like every year, the warm weather arrives (incredible, but true) and every month becomes a battle against my impulse to quit. At my employer’s question of “why?” I wouldn’t be able to reply anything but, if I should be honest, “because I have a stupid need to be free”.

Elephant waves goodbye

In other new, the pub in front of my house opens this Friday, and this is cause for great joy (despite my being able to afford no more than 1 beer a week).

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2 thoughts on “Freelance vs. societa’ – un encore

  1. “because I have a stupid need to be free”. – I would beg to differ. It is not stupid to want to be free. We all do but some of us do not have the courage to evenput an effort to be free.

    There is no shame in picking up odd jobs as long as it gives you the opportunity to be free. Money helps and it pays bills but it doesn’t give you Harmony and it doesn’t heal your wounds.

    Like

    1. I don’t know why I am no longer getting notifications for comments, sorry for the late response. I do agree, and I do know this is short term. But I have recently had a breakthrough, an answer sought for many many years, despite my life now no longer giving me time to even think. And it crept through my dreams and doors were opened that were bolt shut and I didn’t even know it. o something good has come of it 🙂 I have faith, as an old teacher told me long ago, that everything that happens in my life, in our life, is a precious lesson to be learnt. I think I may be learning stuff 🙂
      But yes, wanting to be free is never stupid, I agree. I suppose my need was always more of a need to carry on escaping, a need for movement, a terror of being forced to stay. It’s getting better now. Thank you for stopping by xx

      Like

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