I have watched documentaries, heard lots of theories and stories, read many books. I have been struggling to just “understand” since I became a social human being.
I finally understand. There is nothing complicated about fitting in this society. The trick is to be impersonal, or, at the very least, to be various degrees of “personal”. Possibly even to yourself. Even to your husband. As your children grow, even with them you have to be less personal as time goes by.
It’s too late for me. My life is a constant struggle because I always assumed people related as people to other people. No, we relate with roles, and degrees of personal. I know, it sounds like I’m repeating myself. That’s because it’s like a mantra: the less you relate on a personal level, the more successfully you will relate in this society.
Successfully. I still believe you’d be more successful, not happier. I still believe that most illnesses and woes of this society are caused by a lack of personal relationship.
We You all relate to causes, opinions about tv shows, opinions about politics, in a very impersonal way. That makes you less likely to be defined, as I always was, “too intense”. It makes you less likely to suffer from constant heart pain. It helps people feel less resentful towards you, because how can you have any cause to complain with all the good that’s in your life?
When you feel unhappy about anything, try asking yourself how many people you relate to on a personal level. How many people you speak sincerely about how you’re feeling and what you’re up to in your head?
I used to love Facebook. Even with all its infuriating qualities. I posted all my pictures there, and listed all my thoughts and feelings. I thought those who cared about me and were too far to relate to me in person would appreciate that. More importantly, I thought they would do the same, and that’s what made it special. However, most people don’t, and those who do do so also elsewhere, so I will continue sharing, a little, on Diaspora and on Twitter, and of course therefore those who have the will and patience to read longer. Google+ is just as inane as Facebook so I’m about to try and remove that account too, without deleting my email.
I have countless invites for Diaspora until it’s open to anyone (end October/November) if anyone is interested.