I really must stop feeling

like someone accepting charity. Games night at hester’s, otherwise they’d go to a barbecue. I am jealous of all the things they are doing, and that is so unfair, as well, i ahve done so much and they have only recently found each other. i have so much: and yet it feels like all i have been doing all my life was supposed to end somewhere different thatn here, personally. my dream wasn’t to be married have children a house and pets. I don’t have the house but you see what i mean, a lovely little house in a beauytiful town… all the rest i have but the fact that i wanted other stuff, makes me feel like i’m giving up and yet i should just be happy wiht the so much i already have. why can’t i be?

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