I want to change jobs.
Seems easy to say, doesn’t it? You know you’re doing one thing, and you want to do something else.
Now, I work form home as a translator. So, one would think, that’s even easier, right? I mean you don’t have to send any letters of resignation, no awkward goodbyes, no fear of unhelpful recommendations. You just, well, change jobs.
I could say that it’s difficult to think about working in a different location than your home because you suddenly have to rethink the very way you bring up your children, the way you pay for childcare, your wardrobe and the fact you can’t get away with making a constant mess of your hair anymore. You will need a hairdresser. But that’s all shields. The truth is, I no longer know how to interact with people I don’t choose to.
I have become intolerant, in my isolation, of many qualities in people that I never quite liked or understood anyway, only now I could actually choose to not frequent those people who possessed those qualities. And these people were: greedy, materialistic, mean, plain evil, shallow as puddles, dull, uninteresting, obstinate, prejudiced, intolerant of any diversity, obtuse, prevaricating, quick to anger, resentful, demanding, focused on exterior appearance, and many many other qualities I find insufferable (even when they surface in me!).
Of course we are human beings. I dislike a great quantity of human beings, that is the sad truth. Therefore, I know there is a high chance that working anywhere, I would come across and have to frequent on a steady basis some or even lots of these people (depending on how big the company is, but the smaller it is, the greater the risk it is made up SOLELY of those sorts of people).
So I cannot really see myself working outside my home anymore.
I am possibly the clumsiest and least organised person you know. So, my idle thought of making jewellery for a living remains that: an idle thought.
I am not disciplined enough to write a book, as I always wanted to: I get bored very quickly and find it hard to find the time. Plus I do need to earn money so I carry on working and in my rare free time I prefer not to carry on working.
So I don’t suppose I have much choice, and so I will approach this writing business from another point of view.
We mostly tend to write about stuff when stuff is bad. When stuff is good in certain areas, (but stuff is never good in ALL areas, is it? Or is it?), I think most people tend to prefer to write less about themselves, because, and it’s true, most people feel GUILTY in saying “I have made good choices that have led me to a relatively privileged life”.
Well I have decided it’s ok to write about it. After all, I would have loved to have read about someone like me when I felt trapped and miserable and lonely and all the rest of it.
So I will start sharing thoughts on how you can be talentless and difficult as a person, yet be entitled to a decent life anyhow.
Not today though, I must take my daughter to the playground after lunch.